Category Archives: Moron Meter
yeah I know its a day overdue, it kinda goes with the theme…
at the local library………………..
ME: I need to get a Library card.
Librarian Lady: We don’t give out Library cards.
LL: We just put your info into the computer here [hands me a form]
ME:[notes form says ‘library card request’ at top] why do I need a request form for something you don’t use anymore?
LL: [exasperated tone] well you still need a library card to check out books
Hating a hater makes you a hater.
Self righteous, but still a hater.
It is the hate that is the problem regardless of the target.
Oh btw, if you do it out loud it also outs you as a friggin’ idiot.
And when you label me a hater and start hating me, start at the top and read it again.
How do I know the system is broken?
You parked in the fancy blue parking space …. and then walked your ass to the other end of the block and went into a different store to shop.
I have 2 (not just 1, but 2) doctor visits today. Why? Well mostly because it’s just not Friday without strangers examining all my private parts and telling me how badly I’m living my life.
Can’t take my sidearm because there’s a totally cool and non compliant ‘no guns allowed’ sign at the door. Which I honor even though they don’t bother to follow the law themselves.
The office staff has already rev’d up the stupid by asking me to sign a permission form, allegedly to allow them to make reminder calls for appointments. Odd, considering they called yesterday even though I’ve signed no form. Even odder (and by odd I mean stupid) considering their form says nothing about reminders but instead reads “release medical information”.
I should really start charging a fee for training up the office staff in these places
why is it chronically happy people think you are doing something wrong by being unhappy? They think you are unhappy because you don’t want to be happy? I’m pretty sure I want to be happy. Yup just checked and verified.. I in fact DO want to be happy.
hey I’ll be the first guy on the happy-wagon .. .just gimme a reason
maybe I don’t want it bad enough…. wait… I’ll try harder…..oops .. no .. still got a communist in the white house but it does smell funny in here now.
I’ll try harder .. I reeeeeeeaaaaalllly want it bad (gonna get some spam hits on that one)… nope still chronically ill.
I think chronically happy people need prune juice.. cuz they’re full of shit. Can you make your own prune juice at home.. for medicinal purposes? Probably not in California. Is that covered under the new mandatory health care coverage? It must be .. cuz I read enough of it to know denial and being full of shit are key components of the bill.
You know what’ll make me happy?
- If the police don’t accidentally shoot my dog or my daughter.
- If my friends don’t get arrested for planning a seditious ‘what if’ contingency attack
- If people learn how to spell vote before they attempt it
- If stupid people stop graduating with honors.
- If freedom and equality get applied to all citizens equally
5a. all you other folks can take your ass home or do the paperwork
5b. do me a favor and take a liberal whiner with you on your way out they don’t like it here anyway.
I don’t care who you are, where you’re from, what language you speak or what your religion is.
However, if you haven’t bathed yet this year, either find a different waiting room to stink up, take your annual bath or blow yourself up already.
had some nice conversations with some people in the VA pharmacy system this week
for years now they’ve been putting my insulin in the mailbox …
– the same mailbox that is 100 deg F on the OUTSIDE …ALL SUMMER LONG.
– the same insulin that says clearly on the label: KEEP IN A COOL PLACE
late last fall they began sending it in insulated boxes and will now only ship it if you’ve called in and scheduled a delivery date to ensure you’re home.
because it probably shouldn’t be setting outside in the 40 degree heat y’know
– will not give you the number to call in order to schedule a delivery,
– cannot ship insulin out on Fridays
– will not notify you that they need a special delivery scheduled,
– will not notify you that, contrary to your doctor’s orders, your insulin is sitting on the shelf and will not be delivered without you calling the number you don’t know and scheduling the special delivery you didn’t know you needed.
in other news, the term ‘Fucktard’ should probably get more use.
-they will call you and ask you repeated questions in order to establish your own blame in the matter.
-they will argue with you when you accuse them of passing blame and/or refuse to take the blame.
special note: If English is not your native language, you are going to have to work pretty hard to defeat me in any kind of linguistic debate in English. Please come armed with more than “that’s not what I said”, because my short term memory is pretty accurate.
My pharmacy deliveries (yep plural) showed up this week ..
The first one showed up on Tuesday …
(the same Tuesday I told them I would NOT be home.)
The second one showed up on Wednesday …
why there were two separate deliveries?
the answer to this is only known to those who work for the government.
if you are one of these people and know the answer, well then my roomie (who works nights and sleeps days) would like to discuss it with you.