wildlife menu

what do the critturs here in Texas eat when they can’t get cornfed yankee?

there’s more creeping, crawling, flying, jumping, biting stinging stuff here than I’ve ever seen before. It’s like a Stephen King novel in my backyard.

one of the ‘little’ red ants tried to bite my foot off and when I stomped him his whole family crawled in my shoe.

Just FYI .. sitting down on the neighboring anthill to remove your shoe .. not a good plan. No matter how bad your foot hurts do not let the ants ‘trade up’. Dancing on the anthill wishing you hadn’t gotten out of bed that morning is not really any improvement on an already bad plan. Trying to spontaneously develop the ability to levitate in order to take off your drawers without putting a foot on the ground … not a good backup plan. I suspect they’re called fire-ants because dousing yourself with gasoline and lighting yourself on fire is the only way to get the little buggers off. kerosene maybe.

I wonder if you can cross an anteater with a rhino….

I can’t take fruit off a tree out here without half the countryside taking a bite out of me… makes me all warm and fuzzy to think about the poor bastard from DC that will get tasked with putzing around Texas to take the guns off the people. There’s a gecko on the wall outside that’ll have him for lunch.


Posted on September 6, 2009, in Lawn & Garden. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. LOL

    I keep coming back to reread this entry; it is one of the funniest blog entries of all time. A classic!

  2. learn from my mistakes brother 🙂

    I had to fight a gecko to get out the door last night. He wanted in and I wanted out. Judging from the size of the snake on the walk, the gecko is smarter than me.

  3. Kind of like Oklahoma; if there’s no yankees handy, they just do the usual and eat everyone(and thing) else.

  4. I was a kid when we move out of Houston to a rural area near my grandparents. It didn’t take long to develop the instinct to always watch the ground in front of you and where you put your feet. Standing in an anthill, walking up on a poisonous snake coiled up and ready, and stepping in a fresh cow paddy are unpleasant lessons that stick in your memory even at a young age. I had at least a couple of the “ant dance” episodes before I learned.

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